I am a unique relationship mentor who helps couples stop fighting and fall in love again, and I help women inspire their husband or boyfriend to deeper love an intimacy. A highly successful alternative to relationship therapy, I help couples create a secure emotional CONNECTION; not just problem solving or communication skills.
When you feel like teammates again, win/win solutions are easy to create, and the right decisions for each person/couple become obvious. From this connected place, I guide you in creating an inspiring vision/purpose for your relationship, nurturing love and intimacy, and using relationship as a vehicle for personal and spiritual growth.
I’ve been on a personal growth path since 2001, but when I tried to apply my will to improving my romantic relationships, I failed miserably. I would suppress my emotions, like “I don’t feel bad…” I just focused on what I wanted, instead of dwelling on what I didn’t want.
So for many years, in my relationships, I would sweep conflict under the rug, and then eventually wind up snapping and criticizing my partner and feeling resentful. Can anyone relate? Or we just grew apart.
Embarrassingly, I remember with the boyfriend I had in my 20’s, he was upset at me one time and he said something like, “you hurt my feelings!” and I responded by saying “I can’t cause you to feel anything; it’s your thoughts that cause you to feel hurt!” Oh my God; did that just make him mad at me!!! And then I would get defensive, because of course, I was right, and we would have huge fights where we’d sleep in separate beds and we just grew further and further apart. And I’d wonder why my relationships felt like a battle field instead of a safe haven.
So that started me on a transformational journey on HOW to have a truly connected and fulfilling relationship, which took years of trial and error in my own relationships-I studied many different emotional healing and communication tools, in addition to doing first coaching training in 2005. I really used these tools in the trenches in my relationships, and with my coaching clients for the past 10 years.
The biggest shift happened for me several years ago. You see, I had always been highly empathic. Ever since I was a little kid, I could always tell what others are feeling and I’d feel it with them. But because I was judging my own emotions, I would try to coach others out of theres. So if he was sad I would say, “look on the bright side,” cause I didn’t want to feel his sadness. So he and I had a major unsolvable issue, and we felt the whole gamut of emotions: hurt / betrayal / resentment / shame / guilt, you name it, and we were committed to not break up out of anger; we were committed to loving each other through this, and that’s when we worked with top relationship coaches and therapists. I learned how to LOVE myself and him through any emotion we were feeling. I learned how to listen to him when he was upset and say “Wow that must be really hard. What do you need from me right now?” And we could just listen and comfort each other. And we felt totally heard, validated, and accepted for who we were. And that’s so transformative, would you agree?
And because through that relationship I healed my own blocks to unconditional love, now I can finally say that I’ve been in a blissful partnership with my current partner for the last several years and we enjoy the most exquisite love, passion, intimacy, and mutual support that I’ve ever imagined. Which is what I want for all of you!
So I continued to train with many different relationship experts, like John Gottman and Sue Johnson who are the most results oriented relationship researchers and therapists in the world, and by attending the relationship coaching institute, which is the largest relationship coach training program in the world. And when I took all those skills and created a system for couples, which it even works if I work with just one person in the relationship, my clients had breakthroughs in their intimacy and they rekindled the flames of love and passion, even if they started out resenting each other, because my program gives them a step by step process to find the real source of the conflict so we could heal it at its source. And that’s when I knew I had to bring my coaching system to more people. Because its my passion to help couples transform conflict into intimacy.
And Here’s an endorsement from my Ex Husband. I prefer to call him my wasband; “ex” implies that we’re no longer in relationship, and we are; we just transitioned our relationship into a close friendship.
Trainings and Certifications:
- Certified Professional Coach (CPC) by IPEC www.ipeccoaching.com
- Certified Life Coach through Bryan Franklin www.bryanfranklin.com
- Trained Relationship Coach by the Relationship Coaching Institute www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
- Completed Level 2 Training in Gottman Method Couples Work www.gottman.com
- Completed Externship and Core Skills Training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy www.iceeft.com
- Certified NLP Master Practitioner by IPH www.nlptrainingnewyork.com
- Certified in Conversational Hypnosis by IAPCH www.iapch.org
- Certified Holistic Health Counselor through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition www.integrativenutrition.com
- Certified Hatha Yoga Teacher through Blue Sky Yoga www.blueskyyoga.com
- Trained Guide in Inner Relationship Focusing www.focusingresources.com
- Trained Voice Dialogue facilitator www.nyvoicedialogue.com
- Certified Facilitator of Nonviolent Communication www.nonviolentcommunication.com